Lonely ghosts and an almost-full moon…

 

A very sensory, yet very surreal, week. Or mindset.

Things are both ambiguous and very clear. In mental limbo and yet absolutely certain about…well, see the secrets part below.

A inevitability from which there is no escape, and yet, a promise of a new beginning.

It’s a little maddening and frightening, but also soothing and comforting.

I’m frustrated and resigned at the same time. I’m believing in my instincts and dreams and signs but also practical about their impossibility in this dimension.

The moon is blue-bright and has been keeping me awake, but it’s not even full yet.

There’s lots of secrets, which are also revelations.

Some songs from the 90s are (uncharacteristically!?!?) the current soundtrack to my inner world. Out of nowhere I had this urge to listen to them.

I’m both running away and towards something, simultaneously. Distance, and closeness, all at once.

Nothing much seems to have a point right now, including this blog, yet I’m compelled to put words out there, even if they are trivial, unrelated, or don’t make any sense.

Watched a movie tonight titled “I Don’t Feel at Home in this World Anymore”.

Been wanting to give “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind” a re-watch, and re-read Griffin and Sabine, but hesitated to take that literary/cinematic journey.

“Foolish man. You cannot turn me into a phantom because you are frightened. You do not dismiss a muse at whim.” – Sabine Strohem
Nick Bantock, Griffin and Sabine

 

 

The Skeptic’s Horoscope

The Skeptic’s Horoscope

Like Mulder,

I want to believe.

But my brain reads like Scully’s.

And so I ignore the red roses

pierced with Cupid’s arrows

or the cheap bottle of wine

(that I’d rather was a bottle of scotch).

Ironic that all these February horoscopes

promise you the Valentine’s love beat down.

Yet, I still dreamt of you

as the snow moon got weekend drunk.

For fuck’s sake, I cursed in my sleep,

feeling candy-heart cliché.

But you surprised me, as you always do,

looking all too real with your

goofy grin and childish hope in your eyes.

Love, I thought, from across the room.

I love you, you idiot.

I knew your hand would be sweaty when I held it.

I knew you would smell of warm dirt and apples.

I knew you would be still there when I woke up.

I knew that everything would be rainbows and daisies and

breakfasts in bed.

I knew we would always be strangers.

I knew I would sit next to you in painful silence.

I knew I would know regret.

I knew I would wake up alone.

.

I Nearly Forgot…

…to put up a blog post! And, I still can’t think of anything interesting.

So, I figure I’ll do a look back, and a little bit of a look forward, into my simplistic life (well, until the travel/adventuring date arrives).

  • TONIGHT is the season finale of Once Upon a Time! TWO HOURS of OUAT!!! (well, probably more like an hour and change sans commercials :-p) Who’s going to watch?
  • I felt a little sad when I read about Arto Monaco’s fantasy dream, the Land of Makebelieve, had to close back in 1979, via the book Fun Along the Road. And, I was even more saddened to learn, via the Wikipedia article, that the last remaining building, the castle, was destroyed by flooding caused by Hurricane Irene. I don’t know why this impacted me. People with lost dreams really get to me, I suppose.
  • Speaking of dream worlds, I FINALLY did some fun stuff on Pottermore! I’ve been sorted into Hufflepuff, and was actually pleased with the result. Plus, I’ve always loved this “Sorted this Way” parody video! “Put your badger paws up in the air!” My wand is made of “surprisingly swishy” rowan. I think I bought a natterjack toad, but I can’t find it anywhere on my profile, so far. LOL. Any other HP fans on there?
  • I absolutely loved these two dances on DWTS: Ursula and Captain Jack Sparrow.
  • I added a new bug to my bug spotting list: the Eastern-Eyed Click Beetle! Anybody else out there an insect lover?
  • I think my (indoor-only) cat, Cricket, has made a deep personal connection with a raccoon that was hanging around in a tree outside a few mornings ago. She keeps watching the tree where it was last seen (from the window). Either that, or she really wants to kick its butt. *laugh* Knowing her, though, it’s probably the second option.
  • I downsized my book hoard by nineteen books! Woot!

All right, I’m off to water plants and do other prosaic things. *sigh*

“Reality is very disappointing.” –Jonathan Switcher, from Mannequin