Don’t look back…

 

Don’t look back…

When the clock not only

winds down but runs backwards

is where I meet you again

for the first time.

Getting off the bus

seeking a hazelnut coffee

the instant recognition of our thousand lives

together.

All for the price of a silver figurine on a chain.

My friend made me listen to the song you wrote.

“It’s all about you,” she said, but I chose not to listen.

I should have believed.

In fate.

In our midnight time at the cottage.

In dreams that were real.

Yet, old age grants me a second chance.

My memories come back,

bigger and brighter.

This time, I take your hand,

walk down the beach with you,

and never look back.

–A Chaos Fairy

 

(Just a little background music from my favourite band to set the mood 🙂 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tyCqW_r-McI )

 

 

 

Food for…Football!

From Trainspotting:

Gail, Lizzie: What are you two talking about?
Spud, Tommy: Football! What are you talking about?
Gail, Lizzie: Shopping!

 

It’s been a very strange, dreamy week in the Chaos Realm. A fellow blogger is going to see The Cure in concert, and it’s been bringing up a lot of memories (bloody nostalgia LOL) from my experiences when I saw The Cure (hope your experience is just as magical and wonderful, This Nerd’s Life).

Maybe I’ve just been exploring too many alternate dimensions while I sleep…having very intense dreams. Or something else is afoot.

So, another shortcut blog after I skipped a few.

I’ve been watching (European) football while I (pretend to) write. It’s been exciting so far! Can’t wait until it resumes on Saturday.

I stumbled across this article on the UEFA website while trying to come up with an idea for this week’s food blog.

“What do Europe’s football fans eat?”

Also:

“Football Food around the World”

If gourmet eats are your thing:

https://www.finedininglovers.com/stories/the-best-gourmet-food-at-football-grounds/

 

 

Goodbye for now. Off to wander amazing realms.

Music for dream voyages  (courtesy of The Cure and Legendary Pink Dots):

On Another Shore

Closedown

To Wish Impossible Things

A Thousand Hours

A Few Hours after This

Dredd Song

Cut Here

 

 

 

 

Nostalgia Infects the Chaos Realm…

Arrgh. Nostalgia. It’s this weird blend of enjoyable moping overlaid with futile regret.

Then I was reading through the latest posts from blogs I follow, and found one blog, Movierob, starting a new series about their “movie memories“.

I almost wish I could have my memories wiped as depicted in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (one of my favourite movies).

As always, I try to walk the fine line between getting too personal on the blog, while sharing stuff that I care about, or go through. Is that falling into the narcissist trap? I don’t know.

Anyway, here’s a listing of some of nostalgia-based time travel trips I’ve been taking lately.

  • U2’s Achtung Baby! tour–my first big stadium concert–a fabulous experience! Started reminiscing about the concert while listening to U2 on iTunes the other day.
  • The Cure’s Wild Mood Swings concert! An event I won’t ever forget. It actually turned out to be really magical and serendipitous! Actuallly, The Cure has always been a strong source of inspiration and other-worldliness in my life–since I was about 14 or so. It’s cheesy, but they still remain one of my imagination/dreamy touchstones. So, when I went to the concert, and it was (mostly) just as magical and serendiptious (which still persists to this day), it confirmed that what I had felt all those years was “real” in a manner of speaking. Very validating experience.
  • Seeing my first, and only, green flash at sunset, at, fittingly, what used to be known as Sunset on Siesta Key. We used to all congregate there and have an impromptu drum circle right at Sunset on Sundays. But the local powers that be kowtowed to complaining, rich, out-of-state condo owners and they banned all parking and gatherings at the pier there. There’s still a drum circle on Siesta Beach on Sundays, but to me it lacks a certain joie de vivre. It’s just too…organized? Planned? Structured? It just doesn’t feel as spontaneous as it used to.
  • Opals. I’m not much of a jewelry/gem person, even though I like geology and rocks. I blame reading The Black Opal by Victoria Holt when I was a kid.
  • Trixie Belden book series. She seems to have fallen by the wayside in modern-day children’s books reprints, as opposed to Nancy Drew.
  • Whoopi Goldberg in Jumpin’ Jack Flash. I loved her in this movie. She was smart and eccentric, and she didn’t take any sh*t from people. One of my childhood mentors.
  • Audre Lorde’s The Black Unicorn. Helped me when I felt really alienated from others in middle school
  • Mrs. Redding. A middle school teacher that introduced me to classics from Hurston, Lorde, Dove, Hughes, Walker–when everyone else at the school was saying I was retarded.
  • Shop class at Sarasota Middle School. The teacher was really encouraging, and was kinda a mentor. I was the only girl in the class, (school officials at Sarasota but he took me under his wing. He liked that I took the class seriously, and helped me gain a little bit of confidence in myself.
  • The Theatre. Without the theatre (building sets, running lights, ushering, running box office, teaching drama to younger kids), I would have really been lost growing up. School was not challenging, intellectually, and I struggled with the conformist environment of standardized public education–to the point where I skipped about 90% of school. Even though I managed to still graduate with a 3.0 and got my diploma, I consider the theatre environment to have been my real education. That, and reading books in a undetectable hiding spot at school, when I couldn’t get off the grounds.
  • The Carefree Learner. This was a boat that we got to take field trips on to monitor the ecology of the bay. It was awesome. Real life science!

What about you? Have you been waxing nostalgic about the rose-coloured past lately? If so, share your experiences in the comments below!

Have a relaxing Sunday!

Letting go…

…of books.

Yes, I’m still hanging on to a lot of books. I am having trouble letting go of two books I added to my collection back when I was eleven or twelve.

I picked up these books and remembered, more than the meaning of the text within, how I felt when I first read them.

DSC03938

With Audre Lorde’s The Black Unicorn (1978), I remembered that this book was a light in a very dark time, when I felt completely alienated among humanity (aka middle school LOL) and with Haiku Harvest (1962), I had forgotten how drawn I was to Japanese culture, in the sparkly imaginative way belonging to my preteen years.

Why is it so hard to let go of inanimate objects? Even for the sake of living more lightly on my B.F.F. Nature?

But the good news is that I may end up getting rid of a whole stack of coffee table books! My fear of letting go of my book friends made me take the photo without the spines. (Here’s hoping I won’t continue to hoard them. *laugh*)

DSC03935

What about you? What inanimate objects do you hang onto evoke nostalgia? Or how do you let go?

(I’m not sure how this topic is going to work out–I miss Science Saturdays! LOL)

Music Mixes Part II

This time, I’ve listed music mixes people have made me over the years (and, yes, three of these are actually on real cassette tapes). I’m writing them as they appear on the actual lists they made. So many memories/nostalgia.

(I got these–Playlists A & B–from a lovely wood elf during a voyage to an alternate dimension *sigh* They’re a treasured favourite–because of the extraordinary, unusual circumstances behind them…)

Playlist A:

The Cure–Plainsong
Slowdive–Melon Yellow
Gary Numan–Love Isolation
David Bowie–Glass Spider
Magnum–Only a Memory
Marillon–Bridge
Slowdive–Catch the Breeze
Michael Jackson–Earth Song
Black Lab–This Night
Type O Negative–Can’t Lose You
My Bloody Valentine–No More Sorry
VAST–Lady of my Dreams
Travis–Broken Mirror
Seal–Crazy
T.H.C.–Overfire
Skylar Grey–Building a Monster
NIN–Every Day is Exactly the Same
 

Playlist B:

The Mission–Butterfly on a Wheel
David Bowie–Kooks
Slint–Washer
Ozzy Osbourne–Dreamer
VAST–Flames
Madonna–Frozen
Gary Numan–Dream Killer
Black Lab–Keep Myself Awake
VAST–Lost
VNV Nation–Illusion
 

These came from an old friend who died in January, and who is hopefully on her own voyage in fantastical parallel dimensions. (I’m sorry.)

The Sliced Finger Tape comp
Chris & Cosey–October Love Song/Relay/Smell the Roses
The Angels of Light–Angels of Light
The Best of Divine–I’m so Beautiful
Tubeway Army (Gary Numan)–Down in the Park
Seer–Private Plane
Dalek I–Dalek I love you
John Foxx–Underpass
Fadgadget–Ricky’s Hand
P.I.L.–Pied Piper
 
Untitled comp
Shadow Project–By God
Sonic Youth–Star Power
Psychic TV (Pink Floyd tribute)–Set Controls for the Heart of the Sun
Leather Strip–Learning to Fly
Moby–Porcelain/Why does my heart feel so bad/The Sky is Broken
Can–Spoon
Godley & Creme–Cry
 

This was from some wacky, but interesting, best friend that I had once upon a time–90s maybe?…I look at this list, and it practically reads my fan list–David Bowie–check, The Cure–check, New Order, Nitzer Ebb, Jane’s Addiction, etc etc.

Tor’s Valentine’s Day Comp
Side One
New Order–World (The Price of Love)
Rollins Band–On my Way to the Cage
NIN–Happiness in Slavery
Leonard Cohen–The Future
MC 900FT Jesus–The City Sleeps
Cowboy Junkies–Escape is so Simple
The Cure–Strange Attraction
Nitzer Ebb–Getting Closer (Pool Mix)
Bad Brains–How Low can a Punk Get
Bad Brains–Another Damn Song
Sunshine Blind–Release
A hilarious bit by my friend–titled PSA
Side Two
Jane’s Addiction–Had a Dad
Beastie Boys–Transit Cop
Beastie Boys–Jimi
David Bowie–Suffragette City
My Life with the Thrill Kill Kult–Mr. & Mrs. Bottomless Pit
Erasure–Love to Hate You
Utah Saints–What can you do for me?
Babylon Zoom–Spaceman
Funker Vogt–Fantasics
Skinny Puppy–Worlock
Course of Empire–Houdini’s Blind
Deathline Int–Diseases
SATORI–Passion of Lovers
 

So that’s it–now I’m drowning in nostalgia and going to go weep into a pint of ice cream. *wry laugh*

 fishsea