Scrambled Sunday x10


Muddled would be a good word for the day. Or the week. My eyes/vision has been a little more wonky this past week.

But, then, everything is (still) going wonky. I’ve been trying to meditate and focus on healing and chakras and mindfulness and all that kind of crap, but it’s a frustrating process sometimes, for someone who’s more action- and results-orientated. I wish I had the magic to heal my eyes myself. Or to fix things this 437th (transition) time around. Let’s just say I’m not very good at the whole passive acceptance thing. ROFL.

Been trying to look at blogs but I’m afraid my very old computer (by modern-day standards) might be dying. Or it’s my internet. It feels like the old days of dial-up when you were just staring at that little hourglass going around and around, only now it’s a circle. Still annoying though. A lot of the blogs I subscribe to never even loaded and eventually I had to shut them down. It’s been like that all week. So, sorry if I failed to stop by your blog! 🙂

Then I went somewhere for someone else’s celebration and was staring at what I think is a new food trend–deconstruction/deconstructed. The lemon tart I ordered looked very pretty and artistic but I just couldn’t understand why it was in pieces. Perfect blobs of meringue on one side, dots of some dark red jelly, a rectangle of jiggly lemon filling standing in the middle, and a bunch of crumbles to its left. I was perplexed by the dish. I guess the concept of fancy food is lost on me. *laugh*

But a lot is perplexing me these days. Kinda stuck in a morass of confusion right now while I try to figure things out. Or not. Just sit here and wait for things to come, because endless striving doesn’t seem to bring anything closer?

But, I am having really amazing dreams, for the most part. When they’re not about people I used to know have died without me knowing about it and are now ghosts and watching me as I go through my sad little life routines. 🙂 In real ghost life, they probably have much better things to be doing. A lot of the dreams I’ve been having, I’ve been channelling into poems. The dreams I’ve been having are about the only thing that makes sense right now, which is even more confusing because they aren’t real. As far as I know, anyway. Except for maybe a couple about…well, I’ll keep that a mystery to the general public. My dreams have got me thinking a lot about reincarnation, though I’m still the skeptical science type in some ways.

But, on the real life side, I got my manuscript back from the individual who was editing it (brave soul!). So, I have to get on rewrites. Which I’m excited about, yet also dreading. It’s a mystery/suspense revolving around the issue of human trafficking.


So that’s it in my chaotic world. Hope your Sunday is a lot less scrambled!

Anybody else feeling the lure of the fae this week?



Misfit Wish List…


I wish…

…that magic was real

…that it was still Harry Potter’s birthday (dumb, I know)

…that my sheets were dry, so I could go back to bed

…that the dark I once loved didn’t feel so alone

…that I had a secret garden

…or a mystical island

…that I wasn’t the Chaos Fairy

…that something would finally work out

…that the world made sense

…that I made sense

…that I would dream of…well, if you’re visiting me there, you know

…that people loved trees and creatures and bugs as much as corporations and money

…that I would get the phone call (or letter) I’ve been waiting for

…that I was good at something. Anything.

…that I belonged in this world, and not only by way of my dreams.


(Off to the real world, now. *laugh*)

Albus Dumbledore: “It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.” (J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone)

Travel through Fairy Tales…


Last night, I was watching Cake Wars and they were creating Beauty and the Beast cakes. For some reason, I really wanted to live in a fairy tale at that moment…even though they are often not all innocence and fluffy magic.

So, this week’s post is about travelling through real-life fairy tales. After sifting through hundreds of links for Disney vacations, I put some links I liked below. May you live happily ever after and all that cr*p.  LOL 🙂

(Send me a postcard if you find Neverland!)

What’s your favourite fairy-tale locale, travellers?

Love and other Mysteries of the Spirit…


Neelix: Commander, I don’t think you can analyze love. It’s the greatest mystery of all. No one knows why it happens, or doesn’t. Love is a chance combination of elements. Any one thing might be enough to keep it from igniting – a mood, a glance… a remark. And if we could define love, predict it – it would probably lose its power.–Star Trek: Voyager

“Invisible things are the only realities.”
― Edgar Allan Poe, Loss of Breath

“Yet mad I am not…and very surely do I not dream.”
― Edgar Allan Poe, The Black Cat

What a strange time it’s been lately. (Naturally, there’s a rational explanation, but for now, I’m just enjoying the mystery and the magic. I’ve kinda had an overdose of reality, anyway.)


Sleepless white nights.

Or very intense dreams, full of symbolism. Jung would probably have a field day, but…

…in real life, the dreams I’ve been having are echoed by an eerie serendipity.

(Actually, I just realised that synchronicity is a better word choice.)

Like Mulder, I want to believe.

Am I losing my way?

But I think I want to get lost.

It’s so mysterious and beautiful here.

Magic is in the air, especially at the crossroads.

I hope I get it right, this time.

*makes a wish*


The Griffin and Sabine series might be a good travel guide.

But I have some animal guides to help me find my way, again. (I think).

I Nearly Forgot…

…to put up a blog post! And, I still can’t think of anything interesting.

So, I figure I’ll do a look back, and a little bit of a look forward, into my simplistic life (well, until the travel/adventuring date arrives).

  • TONIGHT is the season finale of Once Upon a Time! TWO HOURS of OUAT!!! (well, probably more like an hour and change sans commercials :-p) Who’s going to watch?
  • I felt a little sad when I read about Arto Monaco’s fantasy dream, the Land of Makebelieve, had to close back in 1979, via the book Fun Along the Road. And, I was even more saddened to learn, via the Wikipedia article, that the last remaining building, the castle, was destroyed by flooding caused by Hurricane Irene. I don’t know why this impacted me. People with lost dreams really get to me, I suppose.
  • Speaking of dream worlds, I FINALLY did some fun stuff on Pottermore! I’ve been sorted into Hufflepuff, and was actually pleased with the result. Plus, I’ve always loved this “Sorted this Way” parody video! “Put your badger paws up in the air!” My wand is made of “surprisingly swishy” rowan. I think I bought a natterjack toad, but I can’t find it anywhere on my profile, so far. LOL. Any other HP fans on there?
  • I absolutely loved these two dances on DWTS: Ursula and Captain Jack Sparrow.
  • I added a new bug to my bug spotting list: the Eastern-Eyed Click Beetle! Anybody else out there an insect lover?
  • I think my (indoor-only) cat, Cricket, has made a deep personal connection with a raccoon that was hanging around in a tree outside a few mornings ago. She keeps watching the tree where it was last seen (from the window). Either that, or she really wants to kick its butt. *laugh* Knowing her, though, it’s probably the second option.
  • I downsized my book hoard by nineteen books! Woot!

All right, I’m off to water plants and do other prosaic things. *sigh*

“Reality is very disappointing.” –Jonathan Switcher, from Mannequin

2015 Horoscope Courtesy of IFLScience! (found it on their Facebook page)

Image by FljĂşgandi SpagettĂ­skrĂ­msliĂ°.

Thought this pic on IFLScience’s Facebook page was great–it made me laugh! So, yes, I don’t really believe in predictions-via-horoscopes and astrology and fortune-telling and all that. Part of my personality is skeptic, science-loving, analytical, and practical, with an extremely annoying eye for detail, especially when it comes to editing and fact-checking, and in analytical reasoning.

BUT, I do read horoscopes and tarot cards and am always dreaming (both in sleep and during the day) and believe in magic and imagination and the impossibly fantastical and in the fact that trees, plants, animals–even rocks, insects, etc. are sentient, emotional/energy beings.

Why? How can you be both? How can you like both Star Trek AND Star Wars?!?!?!

It’s very simple. I answer, “Why can’t I?”

I like horoscopes because they can be a serendipitous source of creative inspiration–anything is, and to close yourself off from something that you, in all your intellectually based “superiority”, is a deprivation for your self and for your connected, aware experience on this planet. I like tarot readings because they give me insight when I’m not thinking clearly. Inspiration and the creative spirit can come from unlikely sources–I’ve even been inspired by the most insipid background TV show. Imagine my brain is a basket and I wander around collecting stuff from everywhere. I weed it through my filter and tuck it away for future reference. They are nothing but tools for the creative imagination, or manifestions of said creative thought. A fun indulgence to get the brain inspired. To get it to dream.

I love physics and natural science and geology and marine science and astronomy and anthropology and environmental science and entomology and archaeology and a million other areas of scientific study/outlets for scientific curiosity. I also ove unicorns and fairies and  dragons and ghosts and aliens and everything else outside the realm of “reality”. I don’t want them proved or disproved scientifically–their primary appeal is that they are impossible. They can exist as real within the no-limits world of the other. I don’t believe in ghosts OR aliens, though I’ve done a ton of reading into both areas. I love the mystery of the unknown–the impossible possibility. If I saw a dragon every day, or in “real life” the mystery and magic would be lost. I love dragons because they exist somewhere between reality and fiction. What I don’t like about a certain sort of scientific mindset (like somebody I encountered, recently) is that they say “you can’t have both” and they look down on me because I straddle both worlds, comfortably, and with no crisis of conscience or conflict or mental split.

I don’t agree with everything scientists do…I don’t think they are the sanctified idols of the 21st century when certain scientific types use “scientific impartiality” as a justification to torture animals in a laboratory. To dissect them, to test poisons on them, to rip them apart and experiment on them whenever they want. It’s sheer sadism, and it’s sick. They are akin to those who kill without compunction–serial killers, for example.

There’s nothing wrong with being a complex, multi-dimensional being. Especially one that rescues stray animals and turtles crossing busy streets while humming the theme song from Star Wars. Or is it Star Trek…?

Celebrating Yule through Reading…

…I’m re-reading The Mists of Avalon, which is getting me into the winter spirit in my own quirky serendipitous way. It’s also relating to a lot I’m going through in my headspace right now. Especially on the feminist/gender front….

…I’d forgotten how good it was.

I needed it after the horribly nasty, rude, snobby staffer that I encountered at a local consignment shop here in Sorry-sota.

Here’s to a NEW YEAR in a NEW locale—one that’s not Flori-duh! (I think that, once I move, I’ll deny that I was ever born and raised here. LOL!)

Hope you all have fabulous festivities awaiting you…and encounter lots of spicy Yule magic!

—A Chaos Fairy