Nerd’s Survival Guide to Break-Ups…


With the exception of one, my break-ups have been relatively easy and straightforward, with minimal moping. So I don’t sound too heartless, I’ll admit there was a fair amount of pining (aided by lots of old-school goth/80s music) over some of them. But, mainly, it was easy to walk away from them because of the (lack of) character of the person (and the time duration) involved. Because I’m one of those people that is annoyingly practical and cautious about relationships. I don’t often jump in feet first–I take the time to get to know a person before letting them in–even when I’m mad about the person, I always proceed slowly. Maybe I’m old-fashioned that way, in that I have a period of courtship, but it’s saved me a lot of heartbreak and other woes.

But I’m not really here to rub it in, I just wanted to share some ideas on how to cope with the loss of your geeky soulmate. (slightly tongue-in-cheek).

  • Binge-watch Star Trek (TV and Movies) from the beginning.
  • And/or watch the original Star Wars movies (“I love you.” “I know.”)
  • Close up your house and go to comic book, sci-fi/fantasy, and other conventions you always wanted to visit (zipping around in your restored Delorean, of course.)
  •  Watch the Harry Potter films for friendships/relationships that face problems but still have a happily-ever-after. (Eventually.) Or read the books (which are always better *laugh*) while eating lots of Bertie Botts’ Every Flavour Beans.
  • Keep an eye out for mysterious blue police boxes. (Or, just settle in to watch Doctor Who series for some tears and laughs.)
  • Re-read your epic fantasy favourites.
  • Blog (but, avoid posting things you’ll later regret. Write, wait, and then review, and post). Avoid badmouthing your ex online or in any public forums.
  • Attend game nights at your local comic book shop or gaming store.
  • Play (or replay) your favourite video games for 10 hours straight. (My favs are the Zelda games, American McGee’s Alice, or the Myst/Riven type games.)
  • Find a geek-themed pub trivia event near you and wow them with your nerdy smarts. (and, get drunk while you’re at it, if you want.)
  • Listen to your most moody, depressing music (or songs that remind you of them) while reading and/or writing maudlin poetry. Or, make art of some kind.
  • Write love letters to your ex (but don’t deliver them, of course).
  • Cosplay at conventions or audition for local plays/films. Being someone else, even temporarily, helps get you out of your head space.
  • Cultivate a sense of magic, wonder, and serendipity/synchronicity as coping tools (Just don’t go so overboard you lose touch with real life).
  • Visit your favourite museums that showcase geek/nerd culture (science/space/fringe art–anything you’re interested in).
  • Find something new to obsess over–crafting, volunteer cause, hang gliding, anything that pushes you outside your nerdy comfort zone.
  • Eat lots of pizza! (Or, other comfort foods).

What about you…got any post-breakup coping tips you’d like to share?



Author: The Chaos Realm

Copy Editor/Proofreader, Historian, Freelance Writer, Virtual Assistant.

36 thoughts on “Nerd’s Survival Guide to Break-Ups…”

  1. Certainly. If you do happen to send that letter to your ex, then by all means go and plead with the post-master at the post office to give it back to you. This happened to ‘a friend’.

    I’m so glad my break-ups didn’t occur in the social media era. Could you imagine the stalking temptation followed by the irrational paranoia? *shiver* Thankfully, I was still able to experience that IRL.

    1. Good point! I can’t imagine how it must be to have a constant in your life with somebody–get used to having them around–and then they aren’t in your life anymore. Must be so frickin’ hard.

      1. She’s Lost Control? Ho ho. Top of the list would be Ceremony, followed by pretty much everything else. I like me a good blast of Atrocity Exhibition. Blows the cobwebs away. What about yourself?

      2. I like Atrocity Exhibition, and not just because I’m a fan of Ballard. But, I largely associate it with growing up in a circus-y town, of sorts (since that’s about the time I began listening to J.D. Memory and association are odd things, right?) I like Twenty-four Hours and Atmosphere, offhand. Sounds like you have pretty “old-school” tastes in music (that’s not meant as an insult *laugh*).

      3. Yeah, a little too young for 70s alt music scene (b. 1972) and, sadly, not born overseas, so I really feel like missed out…
        Sarasota became the winter headquarters for the circus (Ringling and B&B) in 1920s. John Ringling had an estate in Sarasota…it’s a big tourist draw. And you can see it in the movie Palmetto–some of the movie was filmed there. They used to have the Medieval Fair on the Ringling Grounds but then the people in charge got fussy and kinda snooty about it and kicked them out. The art museum is fantastic, but I can honestly say from growing up there/long contact that the staff has a tendency to be pretty rude and snobby, typically. (Sarasota’s probably a better place to visit then to live, truthfully.) But they also have a Circus Museum there that’s pretty neat. Oh, and the Asolo Theatre (Mertz) that’s across the street from the museum…well, it came from Dumfermline, Scotland (Sarasota’s Sister City). Some people who own a restaurant we used to go to a lot (they’re from Scotland) remember being in that theatre when they were younger.
        Back to circus history: A little north of Sarasota is Gibsonton,_Florida…if you’ve seen the X-Files, the Humbug episode was set in Gibsonton (though not actually filmed there). I got to see the Jim Rose Circus live. That’s a fun spectacle.
        Let’s see…what else. Oh, this fellow is a treasure trove of circus history, and he has a circus-themed restaurant. And he’s got some other projects involving a certain train that’s pretty cool!

      4. You had me at Sarasota. A charming name befitting its history I shall have a peak at. Don’t feel too bad.. we share a birth year. And though The Smiths played my home town when I was 13 – I wasn’t allowed to go. It’s still too soon to talk about it though *sniff*

      5. Aw man, that sucks re: the Smiths…ouch. I know, I think of all the concerts I could have gone to, even over on this behind-the-times side of the pond. But, I’ve seen pretty cool shows over the years. I like the smaller gigs over big concerts, but I did break down and see The Cure finally. And somebody took me to see U2, once.

      6. I’m messin with ya 🙂 My antipathy towards Bono (or Onob as I call him) is not subtle. But U2 gigs are generally the business in spite of all that. Favourite U2 gig or favourite gig ever? I’ll cover both just to be sure. U2 – Croke Park, Dublin, 1997. All time: The Blue Nile, Dublin, 1991. And yerself, CR, The Cure?

      7. Yeah, it was my first big stadium concert. I grew up with the music, so…but, again, like The Cure, distance is always better (not really fond of the rock star persona–and he displayed quite a bit of it during the show). Why the antipathy? Broke down and saw The Cure for the Wild Mood Swings tour. Serendipity was very active, let’s just say. Some interesting happenings. It was a cool show, though. And, one of the members used to live in my home town…speaking of Sarasota. LOL

  2. Being married, I am fortunate enough to not have had to break up with anyone for years. But when I did, it involved cookies and cream ice cream, and Black Adder. Lots of it. And then usually doing some drastic image change- piece my eyebrow, cut all my hair off etc.

    BTW I love all your nerd references. I am an epic Marvel/sci-fi nerd, and also do LARP here in Australia. I love blogging for being able to connect with like minded nerdy birds.


    1. What’s Black Adder? (looking it up anyway, but just for posterity). I just joined a local Honor Harrington-themed group here…excited…

      What kind of LARPing do you do in Australia? Wish I was there, even just for a visit…it’s on my travel list!

      1. It’s called Sword Craft here, it’s while there is some role play it’s mostly based on weaponry skills. It’s pretty fun.
        Black Adder is an old comedy show with Rowan Atchinson (?? Too tired for correct spelling)
        I’ve never heard of your themed group? What is it?

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